Because of my former assistant, Darlene’s mistake on July 1, 2019, I was personally victimized by internet bullies, and malicious haters and trolls across all of my social media account but especially Twitter and Goodreads. Ironically, Darlene had not even mentioned this main cyberbullying, troll, hater by name (CM), so I’m not even sure why CM immediately took ownership of Darlene’s anonymous post.
But, because I usually choose to walk the high-road, once I saw the Twitter exchange, I privately emailed CM and apologized for Darlene’s post (which I still haven’t even seen because Darlene deleted the Twitter account before I could), and informed CM that I terminated Darlene (which I did).
Literally, CM and her equally-malicious followers spent hours of their day with nothing better to do than to berate me for something I literally had no knowledge of. It may have been different if Darlene and I shared an office but we both work from our home office, and she lives across the United States from me.
It is my fault however, that I didn’t micromanage Darlene. Proof of my error is that I had absolutely no knowledge of what Darlene was doing on social media (which may be why she mentioned me in her seemingly-offensive post but did not tag me (so I wasn’t flagged and therefore had no knowledge of it). Had she tagged me, I would have demanded she take it down. I only found out about it after a couple of my collaborating authors in the GBF series alerted me.
However, I’m sure I am definitely not the only employer who had a very trusted employee in which we felt micromanaging was not necessary. After all, she had been with me for 9 years and I never had a problem other than a couple reports about her being a bit sarcastic. But a couple reports in 9 years is hardly enough to warrant police patrol. However, at the time of those reports, I did handle the complaints immediately and, to my knowledge, she had gotten better because complaints stopped.
At the same time, my social media accounts were seemingly hacked by random people (the timing is a bit suspect), so the only thing I could do after spending 13 hours reporting comments et al from CM and her lynch-mob, was to physically and emotionally withdraw. I needed the break, so I shut off the phone, ignored emails, put on my pajamas, and spent nearly 24 hours nursing a horrendous migraine. Yet during that time, I was able to repeatedly reassess everything that had gone on.
((I once wrote a blog post about how “professional badmouthing says more about the talker” than it does about the talker’s target but I can’t locate the post anymore. If I can find a copy of it, I’ll republish it. However, it’s true)). In other words, CM showed more of her undesirable character and tarnished the character of her lynch-mob by dragging them into it than she did to tarnish my reputation.
Anyway, in the process of reassessing things, I decided to do some research on the mentality behind online bullies, malicious trolls, and professional haters such as CM and her sidekicks.
This is what I found…
A research team from the School of Health and Life Sciences at Federation University in Australia carried out a study to analyze the personality traits of these kinds of people. They discovered they actually scored much higher than others in two important personality traits: psychopathy and cognitive empathy.
What does that mean?
Psychologist Dr. Robert Hare has been researching psychopathy for more than 30 years and he stated: psychopaths are easily bored, need constant stimulation, and are unable to set long-term goals. They’re manipulative and need to feel like they have power and control over others. Psychopaths also have narcissistic traits. Sure seems to sum-up CM and her sidekicks the 1st week of July. Who else would spend nearly a full 24-hours wasting time trying to sabotage little ole’ me for trying to help our readers heal from destructive attitudes, beliefs, emotions, thoughts, etc?
According to Dr. Hare and the study, these people have serious impulse control problems and react with anger. Individuals with this disorder have problems with social and moral norms (abnormal). However, they’re often superficially charming (fake) and seem well-adjusted (keyword: seem).
Psychopaths think highly of themselves. Inflicting pain on others gives them pleasure. It’s often said that “psychopaths lack empathy”, but that’s not exactly true and here’s why…
The study also reveals the “dark side of empathy”…
Emotional empathy and cognitive empathy are both cognitive processes. However, there are significant differences between them involving the activation of different parts of the brain.
You can read the complete study / article HERE but let me first share this about the “dark side of empathy” per the article.
There’s a kind of “cold” empathy that is not as well known but online evil-doers have high levels of it. In other words, these online bullies, trolls, and haters can identify someone else’s suffering, but they don’t feel it. In fact, they are able to predict and recognize their victim’s emotional suffering. They then deliberately use their knowledge to cause the most damage possible.
They often don’t even read people’s posts or they just skim them and reinterpret them to fit their motives. (This is exactly what CM and her sidekicks did).
Again, it sure seems to sum-up CM and her sidekicks, and what they attempted and somewhat succeeded in doing to me last week. However, if you pay attention to her page, that’s all she seems to do & enjoy. CM likes to “name and shame” without knowing the full story and I was going to name and shame her here but decided, once again, to take the high road. I have thoroughly read her posts on Twitter and this is her thing – she renders many victims in her wake so saying anything to her or calling her out on this post would only worsen things.
I would like to ask her how, in the middle of her toxic posts in addition to her name and shame comments, how she has time to write romance books. It seems that romance is quite the opposite vibe of her cyberbullying hobby. Her personality sure seems far from warm and fuzzy, perhaps she’d be a more successful author if she wrote murder mysteries, lol.
Now, check this post out!
Oh, and CM tried to claim (via Darlene’s post) that I expect professionals to work for free. That is very untrue. I do have a strong opinion on the differences between the intention of all people who do things to help others and those who do things to make money.
Ultimately, after my much-needed break to think everything I was going through, I realized that CM and her fellow bullies are just mere, tiny specks in a world of billions of other tiny specks. I had never heard of any of them before this “situation”, so why should I let them put a stop to my life?
Their judgment upon me should not reflect my judgment upon myself.
What are your thoughts?
In closing, while there aren’t any studies on how to stop trolls, ignoring their attacks seems to be the best way to avoid giving them more power.
Ms. Mozelle Martin, FMHP, FHWE, PhD.
- 35-year International Forensic Handwriting Expert
- Author: The Initiation and What I Learned From Watching CSI
- Contracted Forensic Mental Health Professional for Jails & Prisons
- Creator of Girl Behind the Fence self-help book series for women
- Creator of Housecall Analyst forensic book series
- Forensic Consultant since 2007 – FindMeGroup.org
- Former Forensic Consultant – Criminal Minds show
- Media Commentator for ABC, NBC, TruTV, Crime Watch Daily, etc.